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Sensible Weddings: How to Stay Married Contest!

 
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These our many of the responses to our marriage advice contest. We have grouped them by question so you can compare the responses for marriage advice.Only minor spelling and edting changes were done so we could better showcase the writing personalities of our contestants.

 
 

 

 
  When your partner's proposal is not romantic enough. Can you plead for a do-over?

No! This is generally something that comes from the heart. If you
truly are in love with this individual, it should not matter how he's
asked you, pray with your dearest sincerity that your first anniversary
will be rewarding!

If the pertinent question is asked why get all bent out of shape over
the mode of delivery

* Accept his proposal after all, you must know at this point he is not
romantic but you love him anyway

NO! It was hard enough for them to lay themselves out there, you
shouldn’t question how they did it.

You can plead for a do-over, but the first will always be the first, it
will never change.

Accept his proposal as is, it reflects who he is.

If you know that you are a romantic at heart and you know the question
will be popped, throw small hints before the "big day". If that doesn't
work, I think a do-over is in order. After all, it's not every day one
gets proposed to.

4. No, they did it the way if made them comfortable

I would write his vows for him.

As the saying goes, "all the world is a stage," however in real life we
cannot script even our most anticipated moments. No matter how he
plays it off, chances are your guy sweated over how to propose to you.
Sure, it may not have been perfect, rose petals may not have fallen from
the ceiling and poetry may not have spewed from his lips, but he did the
best he could. Try to play up the positive attributes of the proposal
in hopes that he grows into a romantic husband. Criticizing his
attempt will only make him feel insecure. Instead try planning an
ultra-romantic wedding where we can learn by example from the pro, you!


4 When the proposal is not good enough never ever ask for a do over
because he probably planned the night for along time and now that he
finally done it you don’t like it it will really hurt his feelings. The
wedding day is always about the bride but the proposal night is all about
the groom to be

He's been planning it for months. He's very romantic. The proposal
will be too, I'm sure.

#4 When your partner's proposal is not romantic enough. Can you plead
for a do-over?
NO WAY. You will have many many years of universes for him to get
things right.

4) If he is the one you want, then any proposal will be good enough.
It's the marriage you want him to perfect.

4. I have not proposed in the official way yet, but I will. I do not
think that the perfect proposal is most important, but the moment where
we look into the eyes to say to each other,"I do" is most important.
We've been together for 5 years to be committed and we understand our need
for each other. I WILL propose to her again and again to hear her say I
will again and again!

4. I would never plead for a do-over. Just because I didn't think the
proposal was romantic enough doesn't mean he didn't think so. If it was
the best he could do and put everything he had into it, then who can
ask for more?

When your partner's proposal is not romantic enough. Can you plead for
a do-over?
Always there is the opportunity to teach someone you love how to love.
The best way to do this is by example, such that you repeat the
proposal in the exact manner you wish it were given. If you do this often,
adding kisses, hugs and love, soon the deep impression your heart felt
gestures makes will become learned by your lover and you will find that
they return to you the proposals thus given from the depth of their
heart. For love is indeed a cup that can never be filled and yet always
runs over into another's heart.

* When your partner's proposal is not romantic enough. Can you plead
for a do-over?
If the proposal wasn't to your liking, don't accept it. There's no
guarantee of a do-over, but at least you won't be bringing up the
lackluster proposal for the next 50 years of your marriage. I think that the
proposal itself, even if it's just a simple, "Marry me?" over a cup of
coffee, is romantic enough if you're with the right person.

*Never ask for a do-over. It would hurt his pride. Instead,
propose to him as well. There's nothing that says you can't ask him in a
romantic way too!

he has done it unromantic and I wont set a date until he does it right.

4 no way dude. How cute is that, when it is not romantic but he tried.
very cool.

4. When your partner's proposal is not romantic enough. Can you plead
for a do-over?
Settle for the proposal you get. No do-overs!

4.SURE CAN.........I DID

My proposal wasn't the fairy tale I thought it would be, but if you
truly do love someone then you put up with it. It was special because of
the person, not because of the way or how much was spent on the
proposal. If you want a "re-do" or whatever you'd better think about getting
a guy you truly care about.

4. When your partner's proposal is not romantic enough. Can you plead
for a do-over?
-- You can always have a night of romance where they ask you to marry
them all over again.

I don’t think you should have a do over proposal, no matter how or
where you'll never forget it, I think that’s romantic.

When your partner's proposal is not romantic enough. Can you plead for
a do-over?
- suck it up

When your partner's proposal is not romantic enough. Can you plead for
a do-over? I am sure it will be. Yes, he would do it again for me! But I
probably wouldn't say anything.

No redo's on proposals. That is as romantic as he is going to get and
you better make sure it is what you want.

When you are right! And your partner is wrong -again!

No one is perfect, definitely not me. I'm generally an
understanding individual. One thing that I have always tried to point out when
my other half is right, is to always try to voice that there is not a
wrong way of doing or saying anything. Doing what is more efficient is
essentially what counts.

Point out the divergence in our outlooks and tell him he is
wrong and I want no argument

Let it go, being right is not always that important.
* I would have to have a chat with the hubby. I'm not a Yes Dear
person if I don't agree.

find proof and show it to him when he is wrong and I am right I let it go and smile.
Give him your truth and listen to his with respect.

When you are right and your partner is wrong again, don't tell
him/her. Correct the problem/situation yourself and let them see the
correction. Hopefully, they will realize it on their own and it
(possibly) won't happen again.

Give him crap about it

I’d agree with it. I’d tell him no

In a relationship, the words "right" and "wrong" are not nearly
as important as "listening" and "compromise". Though I of course have
never been flat out "wrong" *wink* there have been numerous times when
I have been less "right" than my partner.

1)when I am right and my partner is wrong again i would keep on
being right because he needs competition to go on and if I keep
pretending I am wrong when I am really right then when his day come and he is
finally right then the victory won’t be so sweet he won’t like it as much
as he would if it was really his day.

He's fine with that, it happens quite a lot.

Give him your truth and listen to his with respect.

I find that when I am right and my fiancée' is wrong-again, as
he so often is!! The best way to make him see your point is to cry ever
so softly. When faced with his teary-eyed sweetheart most men simply
crumble with guilt, or at least pretend to. Short of some sort of life
altering epiphany, this is the closest most of us will ever come to an
agreement. So when the going gets tough, just cry baby!

# When you are right! And your partner is wrong -again!
Try to make them see the correct answer without making them seem
less intellectual or feel bad.

WE ARE USEALLY 5O 50 ON WHO IS WRIGHT AND WRONG
YES DEAR IS USEALLY ONLY WHEN HE IS FRUSTRATION

Calmly explain that this time is your time to be correct and
that he may want to have a little time to think it over and really
decide whether he is right or just trying to be "right" even though he is
undoubtedly wrong.

Give him your truth and listen to his with respect.

1.Well, usually she will come around and apologize for being
wrong. I just have to wait and reason out with her, and we usually hug in
the end.

The old adage of you can pick your friends but you can't pick
your family tends to be distorted a little when you find that you are
going to marry into a family you would not necessarily pick as your closest
friends. Weddings can bring out the best in people and the absolute
worst in others.

. When I am right and my partner is wrong (again) I simply stay
calm and try to explain my side of the situation. He doesn't always
understand, but if I've done a good job in expressing the way I feel,
then sometimes I'll just let it go so he can think he's right.

*Give him a big kiss and remember that I fell in love with all of
him, including his imperfections.

I am always right so it don’t matter.

I wouldn't really react to that.

When you are right! And your partner is wrong -again!
I'd let him know that he was wrong and why.

1. LET IT GO

He argues with me and says that he is ALWAYS right (because
that's what I always tell him) and just laughs and says, "whatever" when he
is wrong.

When you are right! And your partner is wrong -again!
-- Let them know the right answer, and if they don't believe it, show
them proof.

I’m a smart ass so I always tell Jason that I am right, even if I
know he is. he knows I’m messing with him so he lets it slide. I say yes
to pretty much everything, he knows my answer usually before he even
asks, so if he thinks it’s a no he won’t even bother, I trust his
judgment.

Go along with all schedules. No matter what. Always benign
kind.

When you are right! And your partner is wrong -again!
- tell him so.

Not say a word. When he realizes it, he doesn't need me to say "I told
you so."

I just say I am right and he says what I said is what he said and we
just laugh about it.

When you are weary of saying,"Yes, dear."

Instead of making rash decisions, or derogatory comments, tell them
that you will think about it, and give them an answer at a later time. All
questions or comments don't need an immediate answer or response.

I never have and I never would say "yes dear"

Try to be tolerant

switch to "whatever"

I say yes honey :)!

When weary of saying yes dear, put your priorities in order.

When you are weary of saying yes dear, say yes sweetheart. It beats
having a fight over something that's not that important and the guilt and
hurt feelings of the words exchanged.

. When he begs me to spend over $100.00 on a hobby

I’d tell him no more yes dear. I’d deal with
it.

I have been less "right" than my partner.

when I get tired of saying yes dear I would try to make him say it as
long as I can to see how he likes it. then I will invent something to
else to say

I only say "Yes, dear" when I mean it.

When weary of saying yes dear, put your priorities in order.

When you are weary of saying,” Yes, dear."
I try to change the subject or find a solitary job to do to separate
for just a little while.

YES DEAR IS USEALLY ONLY WHEN HE IS FRUSTRATION

If weary of saying "Yes, dear" don't feel guilty just go with instinct
and find another gentle way of agreeing to do something they asked. If
the task is too much then ask for help. If it is because they want to
be right then refer back to the answer to question number one.

When weary of saying yes dear, put your priorities in order.

.I will just let go a deep breath, look at her and give her a hug.
She will get the hint, and I usually feel better after.

I don't really say "yes, dear". I am opinionated and he knows that.
We're both kind of that way and I think that's why we're with each
other. He knows I can stand up for myself and vice versa which why I think
we love each other so much.

When you are weary of saying,” Yes, dear." I would say, "Yes, my
darling. Yes, my love." Again and again, but sweeten the reply with a kiss and
a hug and whisper a few sweet nothings into my darling's ear, that love
again would win the day, and I might even sweeten the pie with a gift
from "Sensible Weddings" given you have some pretty good ones, for you
see, seduction always works to turn the heart, that's why they call it
seduction.

When you are weary of saying,” Yes, dear."
I would ask myself why I wasn't taking more of an initiative in the
relationship. A person who is saying "Yes, Dear," is the kind of person
who is either welcoming or allowing someone else to make all the
decisions and do all of the thinking, which isn't fair to either person. I
would definitely sit down with that person and discuss how we could split
decision-making, chores, or whatever the issues are to be more fair to
both people.

When you are weary of saying,” Yes, dear."

*Start a pillow fight to release frustration and hope that it ends
in the bedroom.


I am never weary of saying yes dear.

Not say it at all

. When you are weary of saying,” Yes, dear."
Keep saying it!

SAY "I'LL GET IT DONE HONEY"

When he gets really mad I am weary of saying, "yes dear". I usually
say "yes dearest" actually to try to suck up to him if he's a little bit
mad or if I am mad.

-- Say something different, such as "As you wish" or "I love you"

I say yes to pretty much everything, he knows my answer usually before he even
asks, so if he thinks it’s a no he won’t even bother, I trust his
judgment.

When you are weary of saying,” Yes, dear."
- use another phrase

Say, "Sure Sweetheart!" with a big smile on my face whether I mean it
or not.

When I am weary of saying yes dear I just don't let it bother me.

When I am weary of saying yes dear I just don't let it bother me.

When your partner's father, sister, or cousin is the most annoying person in the world.

Let your partner know that you don't feel comfortable being put in
uncompromising situations. In order to alleviate any problems in the
future, keep a "short" distance. That way you’re not making it seem as if you
don't want to have anything to do with his family, just that you demand
the same respect. Communication is what keeps a relationship healthy
anyways, right?

I simply ignore annoying people and if they ask if I am ignoring them I
tell them yes and if they ask why I tell them because they are annoying

* Try to be tolerant

smile and deal with it

Stay away from that individual.

Consider everyone has annoying relatives, look for things to
appreciate.

When your partner's relatives are the most annoying person in the world,
avoid them. Be cordial if you cannot and make sure you live at least 2
hours away from them. Far away enough that they won't want to visit
and close enough that they don't have to turn into overnight guests.

Be friendly as long as they are there

I’d deal with it

No matter how annoying your husband's family member may be, you have to
remember that as much as you would expect love and support from your
spouse, his other relatives should be able to expect the same. It is
unkind to attack or complain about the people he has been raised with and
has been taught to defend and protect. Simply bite your tongue, put on
a smile and remember that while you may love to complain about your
nagging mother, if someone else criticized her, you'd be the first to jump
to her defense. Family is about tolerance and camaraderie and if you
want a truly happy marriage, you must embrace his family as your own.

I would avoid the person for as long as I can but when his relative
is really getting on my nerves I would tell her off even though it
would probably hurt them it is always better to let a person know what’s
wrong with them but of course I would tell it in a nicest way possible

Grin and bear it. I have very annoying family members as well. Try to
spend as little time with them as possible.

Consider everyone has annoying relatives, look for things to
appreciate.

Endure the time together and let it all roll off your back when you
go home that night and don't throw it back in your husband's face the
faults of his family.

HIS SISTER IS ONLY ONE THAT IS REALLY ANNOYING BECAUSE SHE IS A MOACHER
THERE ARE NO DO-OVERS

Annoying family members are unavoidable at the least but manageable
if dealt with in a reasonable manner. Always make sure they know you
love them, they must be kept on everyone’s' good side. Because if they are
an enemy they will try with all their might to choose you for a victim.
Annoying people are just having fun, let's be real, they know they are
annoying.

Consider everyone has annoying relatives, look for things to
appreciate.

. They are far away, even if they are annoying, they can't get into me
everyday. She is the one I love, and the one I will live with every
day. If it makes her happy, I will be there to make things better. I do
not believe that it will make matter better by going against them. She
will appreciate the efforts I make and my love for her.

When there's an annoying relative, I just deal with it. I don't
want to marry them, I want to marry him. I always grin and bear it.

Why of course I'd make a point to avoid them as much as possible and
when this might not be done I would certainly be honest and let them know
how their behavior did not impress me in the least and even contributed
to hurting or harming others, for if you convey the truth and enough
people do the same thing, eventually it sinks in and people who care
about nurturing relationships with family members, endeavor to change
themselves.

If the proposal wasn't to your liking, don't accept it. There's no
guarantee of a do-over, but at least you won't be bringing up the
lackluster proposal for the next 50 years of your marriage. I think that the
proposal itself, even if it's just a simple, "Marry me?" over a cup of
coffee, is romantic enough if you're with the right person.

Call my mother and remind myself what my fiancé will have to put
up with for the rest of our lives with her as his mother-in-law.

oh my gosh. Be annoying right back.

Keep smiling!

3. SEND THEM ON A ONE WAY TICKET TO ALASKA

I just put up with his family and complain about it later to him and
make him pay for what he put me through by taking him somewhere with my
family.

Tolerate them, they're family.

His dad is actually the one that frustrates me, he just seems to
always be angry at someone or something, I try to ignore him but some times
you just have to open your mouth about people, esp. if there being
stupid.

Avoid spending time with that person

Spend as little time around them as possible & be gracious.

When my partner's realities are horrible I just spoon out a dish of
happy pie and know I am not around them forever.

 
     
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